Tips for Talking with Memory Loss Patients

What Makes a Great Memory Care Facility?

Unfortunately, almost all memory loss patients will become incontinent. At first they will have an occasional accident but eventually they will forget when and how to use the bathroom and will need to wear an undergarment all the time. While nothing can prevent this from happening, there are some techniques which can delay incontinence and cut down on the number of accidents. Prompting: Accidents often occur because the memory loss patient simply waited too long before heading for the bathroom. If a caregiver will prompt the patient every two to three hours, by asking if they need to use the bathroom, the number of accidents can be reduced significantly. If the memory loss patient continually says they don’t need to use the bathroom, the caregiver should respond with “let’s give it a try” and help the patient to the bathroom. By the time you get to the bathroom, the memory loss patient may suddenly realize they have to go. An old trick which may help is to sit the patient on the toilet and run water. Bedside Commodes: Many accident happen at night. Often a sleepy resident will have trouble getting to the bathroom in time. Putting a portable commode next to the bed and keeping a night light in the room will help this situation. Washable Protective Pads: An incontinent patient can damage or destroy furniture, mattresses and carpeting. A caregiver may have to remove and wash bed linen every morning. Even the best undergarments are subject to leaks. If you have a loved one in the house who suffers with incontinence, you should cover your furniture with washable protective pads, often called “chuck” pads. Chuck pads should be used to cover furniture and mattresses. Even mattresses with waterproof mattress pads should also have an extra large chuck pad underneath. These pads are now available in a variety of colors to match the furniture. Undergarments: Some undergarments pull up and down like underwear and are useful in the early stages of incontinence when the patient still uses the bathroom by themselves and the undergarment is mainly to protect against accidents. To change this type of undergarment however, the caregiver must remove the patients shoes and pants to put on a new undergarment. This inconvenience can be avoided by using briefs which are secured on the sides with elastic bands and buttons. These can be changed without removing the patient’s pants.

Memory loss in the elderly, whether brought on by Alzheimer’s disease or some other cause, is a progressive condition, becoming worse over time. At some point in the progression of this condition an elderly patient will lose the ability to make rational decisions and someone else, usually an adult child, will have to take over responsibility for making medical and financial decisions on behalf of the memory loss patient. For this change to take place legally, quickly and inexpensively, two important documents must be signed by the elderly patient while they are still competent to make legal decisions. Medical Durable Power of Attorney A Medical Durable Power of Attorney (MDPA) is a legal document appointing someone else to speak for a patient regarding medical decisions, in the event the patient cannot speak for themselves. The document specifically names an individual, plus one or two alternates, to take charge of medical care. The document also allows a patient to specify certain types of treatment they do or do not want in the event the patient cannot speak for themselves and will not recover from their illness. Ideally, this document should be signed long before someone develops memory loss. If an elderly patient is diagnosed with memory loss and does not have a MDPA in place, the patient may still have time to sign a MDPA. Most elderly patients in the very early stages of memory loss, are still quite independent and rational and would still be considered legally competent to sign legal documents. This fact affords the memory loss patient an opportunity to execute and sign a MDPA even after being diagnosed. Once a memory loss diagnosis is made, the elderly patient and their family need to move quickly to have a MDPA executed, before the elderly patient’s competency to sign legal docments become questionable. Memory loss can progress quite rapidly in some patients and dramatic changes in abilities can occur almost overnight. The family of a patient with memory loss will be called upon to make difficult choices regarding medical care. One such choice occurs frequently with late-stage memory loss patients and provides a good example of the importance of an MDPA. Near the end of life, many memory loss patients stop eating. A patient may be hand-fed for a time but eventually the patient stops swallowing and any further attempts at hand-feeding will cause aspiration or choking. At this point the family must decide whether to connect their parent to a feeding tube or allow their loved one to pass away. With an MDPA in place, the family will not have to guess how their parent felt about such a difficult decision. The MDPA will state specifically whether the patient does or does not want such life-prolonging medical care. The MDPA accomplishes many objectives. It makes the transition of responsibility for medical decisions smooth and inexpensive, avoiding the possibility of costly and time-consuming court hearings. It allows the elderly parent to set forth in detail the type of medical treatment they do or do not wish to receive in the event they are terminally ill and cannot speak for themselves. It relieves the adult children of the burden and uncertainty of trying to guess how the parent felt about life-prolonging medical treatment. It allows the patient advocate to execute a Do-Not-Resuscitate Order to make certain the facility caring for their parent follows their parent’s wishes regarding life-prolonging medical treatment. General Durable Power of Attorney Similar to a Medical Durable Power of Attorney, a General Durable Power of Attorney (GDPA) appoints someone to act on behalf of the memory loss patient for financial and property decisions. (If the memory loss patient has a trust, the language of the trust may have the same effect as the GDPA, giving authority to a successor trustee to handle financial affairs when the memory loss patient can no longer handle such matters.) Without a GDPA (or the equivalent language in a trust,) a court hearing will be required to appoint and empower a conservator who will handle financial and property affairs for the memory loss patient. Such court hearings can be expensive. Both the Medical Durable Power of Attorney and the General Durable Power of Attorney are critical legal documents. They give effect to the wishes of the people involved and they avoid the expense and uncertainty of probate court oversight.

Quite often a memory loss patient will say they need to “go home”, even when that patient is living in a house where they’ve spent their entire adult life. The “home” a memory loss patient seeks is probably the home where they grew up. Even though short-term memory is deteriorating, long-term memories remain intact and are very real to the memory loss patient. Because of this, memory loss patients often behave as if the places of their youth are nearby. They also believe the people who were close to them in their childhood are still alive. Frequently, memory loss patients will say they have to go because their mom or dad is waiting for them. Such powerful impulses often drive patients to leave their own home or an assisted living facility and wander away outside. Sometimes patients will wander outside even in the worst weather. Sadly, wandering is a common cause of injury and death for memory loss patients. DOOR ALARMS: Door alarms are essential for any home where a memory loss patient resides. Wireless versions are available at many hardware stores and are easy to install. Magnetic transmitters are attached next to each exit door and generate an electrical signal whenever the door is opened. The signal then triggers an alarm. During the day the device can be set to emit a one-time alarm, something like a doorbell. At night the setting can be changed so the device emits a noisy, continuous alarm, something akin to a police siren. The alarm will continue to sound until a until a switch on the side of the device is reset. The continuous alarm ensures that a sleeping caregiver will wake up if their loved one is trying to walk out at night. (The alarm has the added benefit of deterring anyone attempting to force entry into your house at night.) Although more elaborate and expensive alarm systems are available, such as ones that sound only when the memory loss patient approaches an exit door, a simple wireless system is probably sufficient. Remember, these alarms don’t work unless the door is closed each time between uses. WINDOW PROTECTION: Memory loss patients can be very determined and will occasionally climb out a window. Windows can be fitted with stop guards which only allow the window to open a few inches. Some windows have stop guards built-in and if not, after-market stop guards can be purchased inexpensively at your local hardware store. Check with your fire department before installing any device that limits the opening of a window which may be considered a fire exit. Window alarms, which function like door alarms, are also available at many hardware and home supply stores. SUPERVISED WALKS: For memory loss patients who remain physically fit and active, a long walk outside with a caregiver can reduce the patient’s desire to leave the house. In addition to reducing the desire to wander, the fresh air and the exercise can also help with the patient’s sleep habits and overall attitude. Usually, longer walks produce better results. The patient returns to the house tired, more content and less agitated. If the patient is willing, you should take walks in all seasons. Walks help the caregiver as well and provide memories of quality time spent with a loved one. IDENTIFICATION WRIST BANDS: Memory loss patients can be fitted with a bracelet which serve the same purpose as a medical alert bracelet. The bracelet identifies the person and their condition and includes phone numbers to call if anyone encounters the memory loss patient on the street. This type of identification is a good idea provided the memory loss patient will wear the bracelet. SEARCHING: If a memory loss patient does wander off, call the police immediately. Many police departments have tracking dogs trained to follow a scent. Call local television stations to broadcast pictures and information about your lost loved one. Immediately have someone visit or call everyone in your neighborhood. Often a memory loss patient will end up on the porch or in the garage of a nearby house. Have as many people as possible begin searching in cars and on foot or bicycle.